The weather was sunny and hot,
He was working in a Bank,
He got a call from his friend,
“Hey I’m near your office, let’s meet up…”
He replied, “Sure why not!”
They met at the bus stop,
Boarded the bus and sat together,
The bus was slow and so was the traffic,
But they were oblivious to it,
For nothing could have made that evening ‘a flop’.
She had her class but decided to give it a miss,
And she said, “Let’s walk up to my place...”
Though he was tired,
He couldn’t refuse the offer,
And then started the walk- which turned out to be bliss!
“God, she walks so slowly!” he thought,
“It’s going to take forever to reach her place..!”
But just being with her,
Drove all worries of getting late away,
Holding her hand was the temptation he incessantly fought…
They walked along as the evening passed along,
Chatting and joking, creating memories all the way,
The otherwise fifteen minute journey,
Took about more than two hours,
But it seemed like as though it was a five minute romantic song!
It was time to depart,
Time to say goodbye,
Two young people under the starry night,
The silence between them said at all,
“This evening will forever stay in my heart…”
Kaash ye raat yahaan tham si jaati,
Kaash ye aankhein tumhe dekhti reh paati,
Shukraguzar hun us soye hue suraj ki kiran ka,
Jo har raat ke baad ek nayi subah hai le aati…
P.S. 1 : The above post is not a poem(excluding the shayari ofcourse!). It’s just an attempt to write soemthing different :)
P.S. 2 : The Story is Fictional!! ;)
32 comments:
heyy.. very nice poem ( or whatever it is ) once again....waiting for such evening to come to my life too...
@ rohit: thanx..n don't worry it will come...and it'll be better than the one in the story..:)
Cheers!
woowwww..awesum!!! vry romantic n touching.. too good..
ur best post..
i luvddd it..
keep writing such romantic ones more..n i'll keep visiting more..:):)
@ rimple : my best post..really? wow..that's a huge compliment! :) ... more romantic ones?...well lets see ...but do keep visiting anyways! :p
Attempting a story in a poem haan?
Well, i took it more as a story. It was simple and subtle.
The last line though it had been said many times , made me surprise somehow may be because the poem was turning out to be a good piece to me.
More than the english verse, the beauty came out with hindi poem which ended the post.
Its mind blowing and it reminded me of "Kaash yeh pal"song by a pakistani band jal.
Keep writing :)
Cheers
Mahesh
Thanks a lot Mahesh...I'm glad you liked it...sometimes a few lines describe a situation or rather a feeling better than an entire story/poem, maybe that's why the hindi poem was more appealing :)...as for the song, gotta listen to it now ;)...keep visiting..
Ahem ahem wink wink nudge nudge;)ps no 2 to is bilkul jhooth ..:) shravani or kopikar? Ha ha ha:)
on a serius note its a beautiful soft post u can sense melody in it:)
n more ova u got bac lovely dear memories of the nite i had mentioned to u:)so loved ittttttt:) thanku:)
@ divsi : First of all grrrrrrrr ;)...it was neither of them :p
And i'm glad you liked it and could connect to it :D ...
Thank you it seems!...what's the use of a writer who can't make people nostalgic!... keep visiting :)
Hey Umesh,
I have never enjoyed much of the so called "love poems" but most honestly I really liked reading this one. I guess because I could connect to it. Your simple words reach out very beautifully and by the time I was done reading I was left wishing for such a beautiful and love filled experience to happen in my life.
A good job there!
Between I have something for you on my blog, so just drop in to check it out.
@ grace : Glad you enjoyed reading it...but it was not a "love" poem as such...just a beautiful evening between two good friends...and I sincerely hope that you too get to experience it...going to your blog now ;)
Keep visiting :)
I guess I liked to believe it was a love poem. Anyways I guess feelings can never be compartmentalized as such. Friendship and everything else are just so much a part of that one beautiful all pervading feeling called LOVE.It lets you love a flower as intensely and wholeheartedly as a mother would love her child.
God i have this pathetic habit of going on and on about something.
I will shut up now and follow you to my blog.
Quite rightly said by dg....Very very melodic...Superb words used...simple yet beautiful...Emotions expressed in a very subtle manner...And quite different from a normal poem...gr8 job...pls continue writing different stuff n u'l surely make "d difference"... :)
@ grace : Well I completely agree with you on that..but what I meant was that though what the girl and boy felt in the poem was indeed Love..it wasn't the way others perceive it...I know I'm doing a bad job of explaining it but I hope you're getting the point...as for your habit - I seriously don't mind it..
Always game for a good discussion ;)
Cheers!
@ amit: thanks a lot...I hope that i'm able to write different stuff..thats what i've tried till now..lets hope that i make "d difference"... :)
Keep visiting...
Do you mean the feeling is something more than friendship and a little less than romantic love?
This one has actually made me reflect a lot.Have I got there?
Bingo!! ... that's precisely what the post conveys :)...i'm glad you could decode it ;)
Cheers!
Yeah! I am glad too.
You know having got the confirmation to that perspective I went back to the post to give it another read and found the beauty of certain phrases enhanced -
"“God, she walks so slowly!” he thought,
“It’s going to take forever to reach her place..!”
But just being with her,
Drove all worries of getting late away,
Holding her hand was the temptation he incessantly fought…"
"Chatting and joking, creating memories all the way,"
"But it seemed like as though it was a five minute romantic song!"
Its beautiful Umesh, Pat your back again.
Pallavi, your understanding and your views on the post has made it even more beautiful than it originally was..! thanx a lot...keep visiting :)
The poem is so 'real' yaar.Its vry nice.Keep it up! It reminds me of those days wen our pe1 classes were goin on. And you know whom im talkin abt.:p Thnx for refreshing those memorable moments which you've mentioned in the poem n which ive experienced.:)
@ sharvari: your welcome :) ... n ya i know who u r talking about ;)...keep visiting!
You have written a very nice, sweet and beautiful poem. Each and every line of the poem is very touching and romantic. Keep it up!
@ babli : thanx a lot and keep visiting :)
so Mr nice guy...itni achi poem/post hai ki comment ke liye bhi kitna sochna padta hai whether it would be able to match up....
n ya i can very much relate to this post in my life esp that "She had her class but decided to give it a miss"...sach mai yaar it brings such a huge smile on ma face to read this entire post...
bahut saari yaadein mind n body mai refresh ho jati hai..lol
loved the way u put it up n the flow of feelings...its d best ...zhakaas ekdum :)
n ya i wish i have more such walks to remember in ma life...
(abhi bhi bahut saare hai lol..)
hmmmm now finally i appreciate n actually i should say thanks to you for comin up such romantic posts kyunki fir mujhe apni story likhne ki zarurat hi nahi hai...u have already done that..
keep writin..n ya i willl keep commenting...
a very nice post by MR NICE GUY ...
(sumbody gonnna kill me for this)
I'm actually confused whether I should be glad or not that the post helped you to refresh those memories...because its best that they are left untouched when thinking about them hurts you...as for more walks, girl you've had enuf of them already! :p ... thanx for ur kind words and ur encouragement as always...
P.S.: i don't mind being called that...so ur not getting killed for that! ;)
heheh
it doesnt hurt me at all...
please yaar aisa mat soch ...its just tat i m senti n emotional fool...
so keep up the gud work...
n ya i stilll want more walks to remember...
lol
acha baba aisa nahi sochta!...so brace yourself for more such posts (i.e. more crying for you! :p)
This was my maiden visit to your blog and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You have very nicely expressed your thoughts in this post...keep up the good work!
Hey Amritbir, welcome to the blog...I'm glad you liked the post...thanks a lot and keep visiting :)
...and something different it is. The story's pretty real, at least for me, and the poem at the end says it all.
Good stuff...these are what blissful daydreams are made of :)
@ shaunak : I agree with you on that...but it would be Much better if it were real than just a daydream ;)
Nice, simple & lovely post.
But tell me honestly have you ever felt this kind of feeling in real life.
@ mitesh: thanks..and yes I have..but not the same as that in this poem..a bit similar though :)
Post a Comment